how to prepare for the end of the world

food

careful research has led us to believe that food will still be needed after the end of the world if by chance you are to survive. therefore, stock up on must-have items with a prolonged shelf life, such as canned fruit and vegetables (and generally everything that comes in cans), cereal, milk powder and flour (and generally everything that comes in powder form) and other similar items. don't forget to get plenty of chocolate and candy for that extra energy boost required to battle killer robots or outsmart aliens.

once your supplies start dwindling and you run out of canned food (for both yourself and your cat), it will probably be safe enough to sneak out at night and break into stores. as enforcing legal systems will probably be one of the lesser worries in times of gigantic tsunamis or earth shattering volcanic eruptions, this may be your only option for survival. therefore, don't forget to grab a start-up kit for burglars, including dynamo flashlight, set of crowbars and lock picks, dynamite and glass cutters.

remember that after the global war fills the atmosphere with toxic gas, radiation and/or deadly bacteria, fresh water will be in short supply as well. stock up on water, water filters and purifiers, and some bourbon.