(rom.: Aventurile lui FatLenos in tara lui PapuraVoda). Part 6

Some of you, beloved readers, may know already that talk-shows were the most common means of settling disputes in Rushmania at the time of our saga. As Mintainon Mountain was the place where the inner-most transcendental spirit of Rushmania lied, it is natural that William Foster chose a talk-show to challenge the mighty LaizyLad.

The Mint Keeper was a nice giant so he gave LaizyLad a slight advantage. At a sign of his finger, Bombonel(tm) rolled over 3 times and turned into a moderator. (He was wearing braces and had a slight astigmatism, but any ressemblance to another rushmanian talk-show host is purely coincidental, ahem...)

"Dear ladies, miss's and gentlemen", started BomboTukka. "Today our guests are the Mint Keeper William Foster and the unwashed hero LaizyLad. Let's start with a question from the Rastoaga village. Hello, who is this?"

A deep rusty voice came from the speaker placed on a nearby boulder. "So... My name is Gheorghe Urechiusa. So... I am curious, what is W.F.'s salary for keeping the Mint safe? And who is paying it, us, the people? So... Aren't you ashamed, we all pay taxes and you get rich!! You thief! We know all about your mint transports on the Otoppeny Airport ! So, it was all published in The NightlyEvent paper..."

His incoherent speech was swiftly interrupted by the moderator. "Mr. Foster, do you anything to answer to our fellow citizen?"

The giant rubbed his forehead briefly before answering "My salary is paid by PHARE funds, not by the government... I was appointed by a committee supervizing the International Mint Exchange Initiative... Er..."

The next question came from a female listener, who wanted to know if LaizyLad had broken any of the 10 commendments during his voyage, and if rubbing mint was allowed during the fasting period. "Ma'am, I've er... borrowed... some beer from ForrestMum's private stock... But I'll give it back as soon as my parents send me pocket money... And I've thought a lot about that blonde sheperd's boobs... But I don't think that's such a big sin... I have no idea if mint can be rubbed during fasts and honestly I don't care..." The horrified woman fainted hearing this blasphemy, so the show continued.

And so it went on and on, for hours... They were asked about their sexual orientation, about their school grades, about the party they had voted for at the last ellections. And many, many more. LaizyLad was snoring loudly between his answers, and William Foster's headache got from bad to worse. Finally, after answering a listener who wanted to know if he had been a Security informer, he couldn't take it anymore. "OK, OK", he shouted. "I'LL LET YOU HAVE THE MINT AND THE HELL WITH MY JOB AND THIS LOONY COUNTRY. DO YOU HEAR ME, BOSS? I WANT A TRANSFER TO AFGHANISTAN!!! "

As soon as he stopped shouting, Bombonel(tm) returned to his feline form and a big black aircraft descended swiftly from the clouded sky. A group of MiB (Men in Black) dragged the agitated giant and threw him into the back of the vehicle, while some other MiB's awaited solemnly till LaizYLad collected some Holly Seed. Then they all got into a red-yellow-blue painted UFO that had also landed there meantime. They cruised above the Rushmanian land while LaizyLad was spreading the seed. People were waving and screaming with joy below them, and a new musical hit was soon on all the radio stations. "Baby, baby, rub the mint, oh yeah/ LaizyLad is cool, a-ha/ Take me to America/ Or to Asiaaaaa".

News about the LaizyLad's great deed reached the Parliament House and RushKing himself. They all gathered into the big hall to greet the arriving hero. After a boring 3-hour speech delivered by the king, he was finally awarded his prize. Free hamburger vouchers at McDonald's, for the rest of his life. Oh, and yes, he was also whispered that he had failed the DCE exam again...

And so LaizyLad and Bombonel(tm) retook their ordinary lives, interrupted only by occasional wild parties at which the hero bragged about the size of Drakkulla's teeth and the size of the shepherd's boobs... After 2 o'clock he usually started to mix the 2 characters, so the Count had sillicon breasts and the blonde had sharp canines... But nobody listened to him anyway - except for Bombonel(tm), who never got the moderating experience out of his mind so he continued to wear braces...

... And all the Rushmanian citizens were happy because mint was plentiful again, so they rubbed it all day long, which is what all of us should do as well. Good-bye, my faithful readers, and may the Mint be with you, always (dana)

the end

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