The Mint Rubbing Journal
Year 3 / No 19 / June 2002
PANIC BUTTON (use only in case of emergency)
Letter from the Editors
Dear Mint Rubbers, this month the Mint Rubbing Journal (MRJ) takes you through a journey in time, to the
bold and hopeful days of the early 90's. As you can see, the current issue of the journal is presented
in the retro HTML style of the web's first pages. After last month's extravaganza, full of
colour and clever design, this month we feature: standard Times New Roman font, outrageously large font sizes, generous and pointless use of bolded text,
the standard color scheme, no text, photo and paragraph formatting, the use of a single neverending page, lack of tables and center alignment and so forth.
Every effort has been made to duplicate the web design style (so to speak) of the earliest pages ever to hit the web. As you can see, with the Mint Rubbing Journal(tm)
you can always expect shocking design, besides the quality content you have been accustomed to over the years. Even though early 90's webpage design might look depressing,
it has certain advantages that should not be overlooked: low bandwidth requirement and high speed loading,
compatibility with all browsers, even the oldest ones (anyone remember mosaic?) and last, but not least, less work and more mint rubbing from our part!!!! Moving forward, just a few words
about this month's content: don't expect the same quality as last month (the web of the 90's was crappy, remember?). Just check out the table of contents below; we have a bunch of stuff that might
catch your attention and, more important, provide for your quality monthly mint rubbing session.
A quick note about the media's interest for mintrubbing.org: to date RMRA's founders have turned down offers from no less than three major TV networks in Romania, for appearing in various TV programs.
Why? Because mint rubbing should be carried out in privacy. There has always been this neverending curiosity: who are the people behnid this site? Are they regular human beings? The answer is: you wouldn't want to know. Wfoster could be someone you have
known for years; someone you have trusted to work hard. So, we're all better off being anonymous.
That's all for now. Next month we'll once again switch to a new and radical layout, so stay tuned. In the meantime, send a
message. Why? because you care.
Table of Contents
1.LaizyLad's adventures in RushKing's country (I)
2.The Mentosan - Edible Mint Device.
3.The Theory of the Match
4.Finals of the National Mint Rubbing Competition
5.Mint Rubbing Observations and Messages from our Readers
6.Exiled on Mainline (special reality section)
7.Mint Rubbing for Foreigners
8.Featured Sites of the Month
9.RMRA on the web
10.Romanian Ancient Wisdom (special descriptive section)
11.Subscription and Contribution Information and Assorted Junk
1.LaizyLad's adventures in RushKing's country (I)
(from rom.: Aventurile lui FatLenos in tara lui PapuraVoda)
Dear readers, we have a new regular feature that is launched in this issue. Find below the sensational adventures of LazyLad, as presented by dana:
Once upon a time, in a galaxy not-so-far-away, on a planet somewhat
simlar to our own, there was a country called Rushmania. Rushmania was
located by the BlackLake and its king was named RushKing. Not a very
fashionable name, agreed, but Rushmanian citizens liked to boast about their
2000 years-long continuity and emphasised it in all aspects of their
lives.
Another thing that the Rushmanian citizens loved to do was to rub mint,
and throughout the centuries this wonderful tradition was passed along
from generation to generation, becoming an art of its own. Alas, at the
time we begin our story, Rushmania was being faced with a terrible
disaster - due to intensive rubbing the mint stocks were almost depleted,
thus threatening to bring to an end 2000 years of rushmanian
civilisation.
(N.B. Mint is a herbaceous,aromatic plant that grows spontaneously in
Rushmania. It can of course be cultivated as well, but mint-rubbing
masters strongly agree that the wild variety is far more suitable for
rubbing. Besides, who would want to cultivate mint and to loose valuable
time that could be used for the far more enjoyable national activity?)
Rushmania was on the verge of chaos. Meetings were being held in every
public place. Political parties were promissing large imports of mint
(financed by loans from the World Mint Bank) if only they were to be
elected to govern. Almost every day, the newspapers were publishing
outrageous stories about corrupted officials that were using the state
reservs of mint for their personal rubbing. Finally, RushKing himself decided
to do something about this national disaster and assembled a joint
session of the bicameral parliament.
"Dear colleagues and friends... We are gathered here today, in this
great temple of democracy, in order to take action against the plague that
threatens the very essence of our civilisation. We must send a fearless
hero to the sacred mountain of Mintainon, to find the Holly Mint Seed
and spread it again across our beautiful land."
This laconic speech ellicited strong reactions from the parliament
members. They started to discuss the issue and they did it for 2 months,
barely stopping to munch on some caviar at the free bouffet. In the end
they voted almost unanimously a law proclaiming the following:
- A mint-rubbing master was to be elected to go to the Mintainon
mountain.
- The candidates were to send their CVs in 394 printed copies (one for
each member of the parliament); the CVs needed to include extensive
information about the mint-rubbing exploits of the candidate. CVs shorter
than 17 pages were to be disregarded.
- The selected candidate, if successful in bringing mint to the masses,
was to be made member of the parliament and granted full benefits of
this position (limo, airplane, seaside residence and free hamburgers
every Sunday at McRonald's).
The law was published in all the national newspapers and every
television started talkshows about the ideal candidate. Bingo contests were
set, offering cash prizes for the citizens who could indicate the names of
at least 3 renowned mint-rubbing masters. Meanwhile, the deadline for
submitting the CVs was approaching and the whole nation was holding its
breath - WHO WAS TO BE THE SAVIOUR OF RUSHMANIA ??
TO BE CONTINUED
(in the next issue - Candidate selection. Introducing LaizyLad's
brilliant personality. LaizyLad sets off to Mintainon Mountain.)
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2. The Mentosan - Edible Mint Device
The mentosan is one of Romania's most valuable treasures, used and loved by millions. Yet,
so little information is available on this wonderful product. Find below some fascinating little known facts about the
mentosan:
- The mentosan was invented in 1960 by a Romanian pharmacist of German origin - Kisller;
- From 1960 the diameter of the Mentosan tablet has continually decreased, but the mint concentration has remained the same,
enabling stronger qualities and consumer satisfaction;
- The Mentosan has known ten types of paking in its 40+ years of existence;
- Since 1960, Romanians have consumed over one billion (1.000.000.000) packs of Mentosan;
- There are plans for exporting Mentosan to the world; already the product can be found on the German market;
- The mentosan is produced by a company called Colin Daily (formerly Chimica Daily) that also produced the world famous CIP - Corectiv
Igienic Parfumat - candy (Source: Capital magazine).
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3.The Theory of the Match
As I peacefully sat at my desk, contemplating the exam schedule with the firm decision that starting from tomorrow I shall certainly begin to learn, I was suddenly struck by an uncomfortable feeling. Focusing all my attention in a desperate attempt, I
managed to identify the cause in the person, if I may say so, of my right thumb. It was very sore, and very green, much more sore than green, though.
"And they said mint rubbing is riskless!" - I thought, pouting a little and biting my lips in concern. I felt the urge of doing something, like grabing a pile of lecture notes, to forget the pain in that poor thumb, but I was compelled by a promise.
I am a woman of honour, and when I promised I shall start learning from tomorrow, so it will be, not a day earlier!
On the brim of despair, I called my best friend - that's what friends are for - and we began to talk. I don't remember what was it about, but I am sure that at some point we started to talk about matches. You know, those tiny woodsticks with a red
(or brown, or blue, or...) phosphorus head, and you light fires with them when you practice gas-burning and you've lost your lighter? That's it. It was very important to decide whether you have to put them out by puffing air, by violently shaking them,
or is it ok to let them burn completely in the ashtray, considering it should be fire-resistant and all. We did not arrive to a conclusion, so we'll have to reprise the conversation tomorrow; the learning will have to wait, because I also promised myself I shall
not let anything unfinished.
But this little incident has taught me some more - here, at RMRA, a very old and efficient technique has been neglected: the theory of the match. Thought it requires a certain speech ability, it is a welcomed diversion from our usual business with the mint.
The theory of the match does not require the presence of any matches in the area. The speech itself does not have to be about matches. But no matter what the subject is, it has to be precise and accurate; treat it with academical seriosity; make sure that you
and your co-speakers speak about the same thing! If there is the smallest shade of doubt, discuss the matter until everything is clarified, address every point of the discussion with the maximum of minution. No matter how long it takes, it's for the sake of clarity,
so grant it the necesarry time to the extent of available time, which should be unlimited, due to the importance of the problem.
See? It's not complicated at all. As a matter of fact, you have been trained for years in this subject, even if you didn't realize that at the moment, and so has every mint rubber that has experienced the joys of school. It's been in the curriculum for decades, and
still is, under different names, the same Mary with a different hat. There are lectures in the universities addressing the theory of the match, and there are diploma papers dedicated to it. Academical dissertations and newspaper columns, talk-shows and parliamental debates,
public meetings and high councils are mostly about the same fascinating and unending subject that I have tried to bring to your attention today.
I have even thought of a subject that you can propose to the
readers as the first subject for a session of match-theorizing; it's a paradox I have found somewhere on the www. Premises:
- We all know that cats are supposed to always fall on their feet, when falling from a reasonable height.
- We all know that a buttered slice of bread always falls on the buttered side.
But...(carefull! potentially headaching dilemma that will haunt you for days!) What happens if you tie a buttered tartine on the back of a cat
(with the buttered side upwards) and drop the cat (from a reasonable height)???!?
This is *not* meant to be an experiment - the beauty of the theory is to remain theoretical... I could theorize about it for days, but I am sure I can count on you, fellows mint rubbers and mint rubberettes, to further expand the subject and give it the attention and space it deserves!
(bOOgie)
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4. Finals of the National Mint Rubbing Competition
In Romania rubbing mint is a national activity. Naturally, as with all activities, there are amateurs and there are professionals in the field.
What few of you might not know is that there are professional mint rubbers at work every day. Find below a picture from the finals of the national mint rubbing competition,
held every day in our country (Any similarity to real persons and locations is coincidental):
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5. Mint Rubbing Observations and Messages from Our Readers
- Catalin, a researcher in the field of rubbing mint, writes about a recent discovery: "Salut!
Intr-o zi, cand frekam menta navigand aiurea pe Internet, ma gandeam cate milioane de oameni ard gazu' degeaba si taie frunza la caini si cati nefericiti
cauta salvarea virtuala!!!...Ce mi-am zis? Cei mai mari arzatori de gaz trebuie sa
fie proprietarii site-ului www.ardemgaz.com, nu-i asha?
Dar, stupoare!!!... In spatele acestui nume se ascunde, nici mai mult nici mai putin decat ARkansas DEmocrat GAZette! Adica o foaie serioasa care ridica
pe Internet vocea intregului Arkansas!... Nu stiu cat de mult ard gazu' jurnalistii cu pricina, dar nu pot sa nu remark faptul ca numele de mai sus se potriveste
destul de mult ca sinonim al actiunii multora dintre noi..."
- The hard working people at goarna.go.ro dropped us a note, "Stimate domnule Foster,
Colectivul de oameni ai muncii de la intreprinderea Goarna.go.ro a luat cunostinta cu mare satisfactie de analiza pozitiva pe care ati realizat-o in ultima editie a mintrubbing.org cu privire la roadele eforturilor noastre sustinute.
Totusi, aceasta nu poate constitui o piedica in calea luarii de catre noi a unei pozitii critice, caracteristice clasei muncitoare pe care cu cinste o reprezentam, cu privire la ideile si propaganda decadente continute de publicatia d-voastra.
Infierarea atitudinilor delasatoare, nemuncitoresti, precum cea intruchipata de Asociata de Frecarea Mentei, trebuie sa fie mereu o indatorire esentiala a oamenilor muncii de la orase si sate, printre care cu se numara si membrii colectivului redactional www.goarna.go.ro.
Ne rezervam, deci, dreptul de a dedica intreaga rubrica "Asa NU!" a urmatoarei editii a gazetei de perete a colectivului nostru pentru zugravirea efectelor negative pe care activitatea de frecare a mentei o are asupra indeplinirii la timp a planurilor cincinale.
Cu salutari tovarasesti, oamenii muncii de la goarna.go.ro. Traiasca lupta pentru pace!".
Hmmm, does this imply that some people actually work?!
- The previous issue of the journal was carefully planned and implemented; yet, one important issue was neglected. Tudor writes: "Even if I'm a Mint Rubbing Professional I had trouble when I tried to enjoy the last number of your world-famous, highly appreciated journal.
And therefore I'm entitled to claim damages for a simple fact: there's no PANIC BUTTON ANYMORE! Please try now to be in my place: can you imagine how do you feel when I was almost caught?????
So, please try to save the mint rubbing human kind and include again in the next number the button, this should be my reward for the damage made."
Dear Sir, you are so right. Please accept our deepest apologies. We hope you will be pleased to notice the PANIC BUTTON, located at the top of this page.
- Other important mistakes were spotted by Alexandre: "tovarasi, Felicitari pentru aceasta realizare. Sa se discute tema la urmatoarea
reuniune a celulei de partid, si sa se prevada o recompensa demna pentru
combinatul care a produs acest site, sub conducerea stralucitoare a
secretarului general //wfoster.
Imi dau seama insa, uitindu-ma la http://mintrubbing.org/j18/j7.html,
ca "quiz" are 2 z la plural, si ca pe http://mintrubbing.org/j18/j8.html
lipseste cam un f la efortless (care se scrie deci gen "effortless".).
Aceste omisiuni trebuie sa fie corectate, in asa fel ca nimeni sa nu
aiba dubii despre profesionalismul cu care se freaca menta la noi.
Sa se publice deci autocritica pentru omisiunea aceasta incompatibila
cu spiritul nostru de vigilenta permanenta, atitudine necesara pentru
alungarea dusmanului reactionar infiltrat prin rindurile noastre.".
While we admit to making these mistakes, we have to let you know that they were deliberately placed in our texts, to test the vigillence of our readers. In fct, the number of tiping and speling erorrs is much higher, our aim being
to constantlly increase this nomber.
- Finally, don't forget to check out the messages on the RMRA forum. Spend some quality mint and browse through the messages that people have for us (no, we don't spam and we don't have a site on yahoo; it's a misunderstanding).
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6. Exiled on Mainline (Special Reality Section)
This month we introduce a new feature on the RMRA site - Exiled on Mainline. Not necessarily mint rubbing materaial, the section will feature regularly updated texts about
life, society and other such less-than-fascinating subjects. Click here to enter (opens in a separate window).
Your opinions on this material are highly appreciated.
Back to the table of contents
7. Mint Rubbing for Foreigners
One of the most important drawbacks of the legendary RMRA site is its inability to address the non-English-speaking world. Mint rubbers speaking German, French or Italian have no access to the
wonderful materials contained in our site. This situation has now changed. With the aid of Altavista and Systran free translation facilities, mint rubbing can now reach a much larger audience.
Instructions for use:
1. Go to www.altavista.com
2. Search for mintrubbing.org
3. When the mintrubbing.org site is found, click on the Translate link.
4. Choose "English to French", "English to German", "English to Italian", "English to Portuguese" or "English to Spanish" and hit the Translate button.
You will now have access to all pages of the RMRA site translated in your preferred language:
- our French readers will find out that Frottage de menthe could be described as:
"Roumain la coutume a pratiqué par des millions de personnes depuis des périodes antiques.
L'association roumaine de frottage de menthe est concentrée sur aider vous développez et augmentez vos techniques de frottage de menthe,
permettre une utilisation plus efficace de temps dans votre journal activités. Au travail ou à la maison le frottage de menthe est un excellent
le choix pendant le temps de qualité de dépense et pour partir s'inquiète et problèmes derrière."
- German rubbers will find that rubbing is "Rumäne
Gewohnheit übte durch Millionen Leute seit alten Zeiten.
Die rumänische Minzerubbing-Verbindung wird auf das Helfen gerichtet
Sie entwickeln und erhöhen Ihre Minze Rubbingtechniken,
Ermöglichen eines leistungsfähigeren Gebrauches von Zeit in Ihrer Tageszeitung
Tätigkeiten. An der Arbeit oder zu Hause ist Minze Rubbing ein ausgezeichnetes
Wahl für Ausgabe Qualitätszeit und für das Verlassen sorgt sich
und Probleme nach."
- Italian web surfers will be thrilled to see that mint rubbing is "rumeno
l'abitudine si è esercitata in da milioni di gente dai periodi antichi."
We can't know if these translations are 100% accurate, but they really look professional. Enjoy.
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8.Featured Sites of the Month
This month we have a whole bunch of quality sites that we want to introduce you to. See below
this month's destinations for your web surfing pleasure:
- There are moments in life when knowing how to escape a sinking car can turn out handy. At other times you might have to fend off
a shark or even determine if your date is an axe murderer. When your life depends on such vital information, there is only one place you can go:
worstcasescenarios.com.
- "Mistakes - it could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others". "Losing - if at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style".
For the best in demotivation visit despair.com. A great cure for optimism in life.
- The web is full of funny and weird pictures - your mailbox is probably full of them. And when it comes to this kind of content, there is no better site than
hamncheez.com. Just navigate through random funny and/or weird pictures for hours without end. Makes for a good mint
rubbing supplement:
- Moving on we present to you the official site of the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement that addresses such important problems as overpopulation,
depletion of natural resources, extinction of endangered species and more. You can help, click to find out how:
- Next we introduce the official website of the movie Donnie Darko, one of the more interesting sites of the web, made for one of the more interesting films you can ever see:
- Last but not least, we have a site that attempts to reveal insultingly stupid move physics. Click here to see for yourself.
Includes movie reviews spotlighting bad physics:
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9.RMRA on the Web
One of the most amazing features of the mint rubbing association is that it has created some impressive underground following; to be more specific, we are amazed to discover more and more pages linking to
mintrubbing.org every month. Our new fans this month are:
- http://www25.brinkster.com
- http://www.incompetenti.ro
- http://www.parazitii.us
- http://danielneamu.rdscv.ro
- http://www.killer2k.org/doi_impachetati
- http://profiles.yahoo.com/cosminarad
- http://users.rol.ro/s/sulimandan/
- http://www.firefly.go.ro/home.html
- http://web.mit.edu/romania/www/linksromania.html
- http://profiles.yahoo.com/lavi_sebe
Moving on, we noticed we were also mentioned on a site called www.recomandari.ro - this seems to be a good thing. Then, another two forums we've dug up that link to us:
http://southpark.pub.ro and http://med.pub.ro. Thank you people. Your efforts are appreciated.
And, if this wasn't quite enough, we found an article mentioning mintrubbing.org in the New Zealand Herald. This shows that the mint rubbing phenomenon is reaching global audiences - fascinating!
The article is entitled "Self-help spread feeds needy and cynical". Click on the logo above to read it.
Finally, some information on our mint rubber of the month contest featured in the june issue of MRJ. As you know, we wanted to see the weirdest desription that someone could come up with for the RMRA site.
Thank you for your submissions. The winner is...goanga.com, site that described mintrubbing.org by "all you ever wanted to know about sex!" Congratulations, dude, you got it!
If you have a link to mintrubbing.org on
your page and have a disturbing or beautiful description for our site, let us know. You could be next month's winner. If you don't have a link to mintrubbing.org on your page, then I ask "what the hell is the matter with you?".
Back to the table of contents
10.Romanian Ancient Wisdom (special descriptive section)
The Romanian language, in its infinite wisdom, provides numerous descriptive epxressions for referring to our hard-working and intelligent fellow man. Read below:
Eat-Milk (papa-lapte)
Burnt-Guts (matze-fripte)
Loose-Summer (pierde-vara)
Emty-Elbows (coate-goale)
Open-Mouth (gura-casca)
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11.Subscription and Contribution Information and Assorted Junk
- Subscription information: to subscribe to the Mint Rubbing Journal send a message to wfoster42@yahoo.com.
We'll send you monthly notifications of new issues so you can impress your friends and loved ones with your mint rubbing abilities.
- Contribution information: send us an article, idea or material on mint rubbing at the same address. Get the chance to
fill up the "Published work" section of your Curriculum Viate.
- Assorted junk: It's a fine day outside. Tomorrow we will go dancing. Our neighbour has a nice red car. We're all bozos on this bus.
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(C) 2002 The Romanian Mint Rubbing Association. Contact us for details